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What do you think i’m a rap?

I love to make up my own raps and I’m not very good yet, but I try.
I try to rap without talking about drugs or drinking and the common stuff.
What do you think? How can I improve?
(I used a certain instrumental for my song. So you may think it doesn’t flow.
But when you do it with the song it does.)

I drop beats not bombs
I do it better than your mom
Tick tick tick I go off like a bomb
I’m the original gangster but they call me the OG.
I would introduce but you already know me.
Even though I’m seventeen you can’t control me
Can’t stop now. I gotta keep flowing.

I start off slow but then I get on track
Bing Bam Boom. I’m like a heart attack.
Attacks like missiles from world war two.
If this was pacman, game over you lose.
Treat you like a kid and have you snackin on a lunch able
Cant defeat me, Cause I am untouchable
You know I’m fantastic without the four
Just one peek will keep you coming back for more
I’m little red from the hood
I think I can just like the engine that could
I can rap no drugs or guns
You better stop now, run forest run

Some call me weird. Some call me a nerd.
Don’t apoligize that’s just obsurd.
I’m sorry that I stand out from the herd.
Im the dictionary, I know every word.
I don’t break the law, but I can break your face
I do criminal things, without a trace
My talent is more than your little brain can handle
I’ll smoke you. Blow you out like a candle.
Trying to get on top. You know im racin.
Its not my fault that im black and amazing.

My beats are contagious like poison ivy
I’m not immortal, actually pretty lively.
Guys always ask me will you be my wifey?
Like Myers, chase you round with my knifey.
I’m pretty crazy, Insane in the cranium.
You know me, Causing lots of mania
Everyone knows I want to be a rapper
But in a few seconds you’ll be caught up in my rapture
My wrath sir. pack my bags if you’re a packer.
I’m like a tiger with all of the rage
I’m vicious, don’t let me out of my cage
I’m going to fast. Are we on the same page?
Like a computer, do you know all my history?
Calm cool collect, I keep myself a mystery.
Some words I say, don’t make sense to me.

I have nightmares that’s why I never go to sleep
Nighttime is where the lurkers creep.
I cock my loaded fourty four and ask where the gs at
Like a mouse trap, Ill be asking where the cheese at?
Most raps are about crimes and doing time
None can defeat or be better than mine
I am your father cause you know I’m darth vader
Your on the dark side unless you are a traitor
I am a villian, I ain’t the hero
I am a ten, you are a zero.
I am an actor, but no Robert Deniro
Like Robin Hood, I’ll shoot you with my arrow

And its about time to put this to an end
Like an email, just click send.
I am the best, noone else can dominate.
I am the next president, Go ahead and nominate.
You know me, I’ll always be around.
I’m the greatest alive , how does that sound?
By the way, I’m only seventeen and i’m a girl so it’s not like i’m the next lil wayne. I just rap for fun. So if I suck, sorry.

Poll : What do you think of my diss rap?

Me and a kid are going to have a written rap battle Monday in school. He’s new from North Carolina (Black, short, with an afro.) He’s a nice guy and we are friends, but he challenged me to a rap battle and I accepted. Here’s what I wrote, tell me your thoughts. Obviously some lines may sound weird but I know how to time them correctly so believe me there is nothing that needs to be edited in terms of timing/length of lines.

Mister Brown sit down and use your ears to learn, my rhymes will strike and leave 3rd degree burns.
What’s that on your head? It looks like a giant owl’s nest; in fact maybe I’ll get a shovel and dig for a treasure chest!
Your shorter then my own 5 year old brother, and when you try to spit all you do is studder
Nervous? But on the service you don’t look calm and ready, you look frightened like you just witnessed the Himalayan Yeti
I’m like the rapper version of Shakespeare, you just sound like a 50 Cent wannabe queer
Freestyles for pros, it ain’t for no rookies, take a seat Kevin, give him some milk and cookies
You know spit doesn’t mean spit with the saliva, it means rhyming deep like a poetic scuba diva
You sound like Rick Ross during a heart attack, and you resemble Soulja boy stoned on crack
I’ll feel free to insult your whole damn family, kid your about to get roasted like that thanksgiving turkey
You think you can see, but your blind, scary stuff happening, but you don’t even know whats the time
Why don’t you go work at at Mickey D’s making minimum dough, next time wear a condom, when your with that nasty hoe
Everything you touch turns to cold stone, everything I touch turns to gold you wanna own!
Your weak like a new born child, I’m strong like I was raised in the wild
I’m up in the clouds, lookin’ down seeing ants, your down on the ground, praising my chants
They call me a lyrical Einstein, know so much about the rap game, I got the real lines
Your hairier than a male silverback gorilla, and your face is scarier than a drunk psychotic killa
Winter’s comin, Maple Groves about to get cold,
Your getting served like that frozen dinner just sold
I don’t need a beat to show you whose boss,
Get that ranch, your like my salad, gonna get tossed
Silly pterodactyl looking’ Point Guard
You brick every shot of yours, no wonder you don’t start
I’m causing all this mad trauma, rappers lookin stupid so Ima call them dumb, dumb and dumber
Your afros made out of elephant pubes, and your mothers slept with over 75 different dudes
And now im ending with something that will set the tone, you need to quit the rap game, stick to writing school poems…
i know its long guys but just give it a read please, thanks.

P o L L – What do you think of my diss rap? (Most detailed response gets BA!)?

Me and a kid are going to have a written rap battle Monday in school. He’s new from North Carolina (Black, short, with an afro.) He’s a nice guy and we are friends, but he challenged me to a rap battle and I accepted. Here’s what I wrote, tell me your thoughts. Obviously some lines may sound weird but I know how to time them correctly so believe me there is nothing that needs to be edited in terms of timing/length of lines.

Mister Brown sit down and use your ears to learn, my rhymes will strike and leave 3rd degree burns.
What’s that on your head? It looks like a giant owl’s nest; in fact maybe I’ll get a shovel and dig for a treasure chest!
Your shorter then my own 5 year old brother, and when you try to spit all you do is studder
Nervous? But on the service you don’t look calm and ready, you look frightened like you just witnessed the Himalayan Yeti
I’m like the rapper version of Shakespeare, you just sound like a 50 Cent wannabe queer
Freestyles for pros, it ain’t for no rookies, take a seat Kevin, give him some milk and cookies
You know spit doesn’t mean spit with the saliva, it means rhyming deep like a poetic scuba diva
You sound like Rick Ross during a heart attack, and you resemble Soulja boy stoned on crack
I’ll feel free to insult your whole damn family, kid your about to get roasted like that thanksgiving turkey
You think you can see, but your blind, scary stuff happening, but you don’t even know whats the time
Why don’t you go work at at Mickey D’s making minimum dough, next time wear a condom, when your with that nasty hoe
Everything you touch turns to cold stone, everything I touch turns to gold you wanna own!
Your weak like a new born child, I’m strong like I was raised in the wild
I’m up in the clouds, lookin’ down seeing ants, your down on the ground, praising my chants
They call me a lyrical Einstein, know so much about the rap game, I got the real lines
Your hairier than a male silverback gorilla, and your face is scarier than a drunk psychotic killa
Winter’s comin, Maple Groves about to get cold,
Your getting served like that frozen dinner just sold
I don’t need a beat to show you whose boss,
Get that ranch, your like my salad, gonna get tossed
Silly pterodactyl looking’ Point Guard
You brick every shot of yours, no wonder you don’t start
I’m causing all this mad trauma, rappers lookin stupid so Ima call them dumb, dumb and dumber
Your afros made out of elephant pubes, and your mothers slept with over 75 different dudes
And now im ending with something that will set the tone, you need to quit the rap game, stick to writing school poems…

Can someone take a look at my RAP lyrics?

Alright, I have 2 songs I created, and they way the songs are formed, you understand it, or you don’t, by that I mean u either understand the way it flows, the beat to it, or you don’t, so someone who understands these 2 song, please tell me what you think… If you don’t understand it, don’t answer… Thanks…

CoD Rap:

(Chorus Starts)
Yo, you playin Search & Destroy,
you don’t know whatcha doin.
You passin da bomb like its a toy
you stupid…

You dont realize that,
butcha talking trash so bad,
Pull it, throw it, FRAG GRENADE!!! Opened up, and Crashed!
(Chorus Ends)

You playing Team Deathatch just like your an addict,
You aint doin good, i guess its just prolly laggin

The other team wins,
you burstin up in tears,
you dont know whatcha gonna do,
try conquerin your fears

(Chorus Starts)
Yo, you playin Search & Destroy,
you don’t know whatcha doin.
You passin da bomb like its a toy
you stupid…

You dont realize that,
butcha talking trash so bad,
Pull it, throw it, FRAG GRENADE!!! Opened up, and Crashed!
(Chorus Ends)

In your face,
Playin Free-For-All so crazy
Take out da G11 shootin, screamin
Fuck you! You Babies!

Kickin some ass in Headquarters,
Hackin the game, passin right through the borders
You pretty damn proud cuz your beating the game,
Ain’t no way you gonna make it to the hall of fame

Yo, you playin Domination,
Capturin the flags named ABC,
Runnin across the map,
with that red dot scope on your M16

(Chorus Starts)
Yo, you playin Search & Destroy,
you don’t know whatcha doin.
You passin da bomb like its a toy
you stupid…

You dont realize that,
butcha talking trash so bad,
Pull it, throw it, FRAG GRENADE!!! Opened up, and Crashed!
(Chorus Ends)

Yo, you playin sniper deathmatch with your friends,
Sittin’ on the cliff in jungle, shootin at their heads,
They get mad, they still ain’t no match for you,
They don’t know where u at at all, they don’t got a single clue

Yo, it’s One in the Chamber,
playin with your pistol,
wish it was Modern Warfare 2,
wish you had your rangers!

What u gonna pick?
Xbox or Ps3?
Well, it doesn’t matter, cuz your playin Call of Duty, 7
Yea, its 2000 and 11!!! Its like heaven!!!!!!

Yea, you betta just play CoD
Better than A-Rod,
Maybe then, K-Rod
Consider this a last announcement to you hackers, don’t mod…………………….

Dream On:

Ayo, I had this dream when I was just a little kid
I wanted to be a rapper, I didnt dout it a single bit
I thought about it, then I realized I was so hardy
Until I found myself mixin Heineken with some Bacardi

(Chorus Starts)
I said Dream On yo, Every rapper’s dream is this
Sittin in a lounge chair, not giving a fuck to any dis,
thats being thrown at you
yea you know whats on your mind?
the question: Who’s gonna get fucked by me tonight
(Chorus Ends)

Well I don’t know,
the answer is all up to you
you get to pick, Sarah, Lauren, Brianna, or Jordan
well, whats the answer?
which girl you gonna screw?

I’ve been thrown down, a few times, by a few guys
they said, yo, you got no chance in front of all these people’s eyes
They said yea bro, tell me what u gonna do
I said I don’t know, maybe my dream will come true

(Chorus Starts)
I said Dream On yo, Every rapper’s dream is this
Sittin in a lounge chair, not giving a fuck to any dis,
thats being thrown at you
yea you know whats on your mind?
the question: Who’s gonna get fucked by me tonight
(Chorus Ends)

I rememba one time, I had a fight with my own cousin,
for some reason that made me think of Eminem and the dirty dozen

I like to rap yo,
I always go with the flow
maybe one day I’ll be signed to Slim Shady/Interscope

Cuz thats my dream,
And if I end up somewhere else,
I promise you, that i’m gonna be screamin
like winter bells, cuz

(Chorus Starts)
I said Dream On yo, Every rapper’s dream is this
Sittin in a lounge chair, not giving a fuck to any dis,
thats being thrown at you
yea you know whats on your mind?
the question: Who’s gonna get fucked by me tonight
(Chorus Ends)

Yea, tell me what your dream is,
lemme take a guess, is it building re zigs?
Yea, go on, take that dis

Yeah, go on follow your dreams up in that corner
in the forest,
make your life a living hell
Or just adore it

Yeah, go on, follow your dreams,
You can do anything you ever thought about
Just focus on it, and accomplish, Yea
Also, I know I messed up a bit cuz I started with the chorus on the first 1
I know I should’nt like put Cod Rap on like a mix tape, i did that one for fun
lol

For that guy Charles Barkley Swag and others?

Im on my other account, im the guy who wrote that other verse and you said it took me 5 hours, I know this took me a bit longer then the other one but heres what I got

No collaboration man Im doing it on my own
Aint trustin nobody fuck the hitchhikers on this road
Aint letting noone put me off course, Im travelling on this journey and doing it all alone
Jay-Z and kanye keeping the seat warm
Their seen as royalty in the rap world so why the hell they watching the throne?
Are they waiting for a breath of fresh air to come along?
Am I that guy? Hmm man I dont know
But i’ll take my chances in life and ill watch that dice roll
So a black man as president who wouldve thought it, obamas in command
it aint a fantasy its reality we aint in waynes world we aint using music to expand a brand
There was only one President Carter I dont recall there being 4
Hmm I wonder what its like man to break the law, dont ask me I aint never been to prison so I dont know
Ahhh right maybe your throwing them deuces up to that ho
but tell me man aint that the woman who most of your album was for
hmm sounds like shes cheap like a 99 cents store, this shit aint hard to work out cause you using the same old metaphors
Young moneys getting old, but were taking our time waiting for the right signs so step aside man cause your image is in decline
Its a state emergency we at the pentagon rather then the penthouse where the girls be straying and laying with any rich guy that is paying, man his wife doesnt even know that he is betraying
Aint like michelle obama that sophisticated type of lady
Why dont you aim for that class baby
We soon flying to JFK, down in New York on the world tour meeting with dr dre
Yeah the beats are good, instrumentals and the main hooks, sounds from the hood
Doing it like old school hip hop when pac was aroundCause when he was alive this rap game was flying high but now we’ve halted to a standstill were back on the ground
Were waiting for someone to give the command to liftoff
But these wannabe pop gangster rappers are to cold man theyre not faking that cough
coughing up money cause thats all theyre chasing, and forgetting about the true meaning of rap that there replacing
Man dictate the situation you got the power right now so its your obligation
to lead this hip hop into this new generation but you gotta show that motivation
leaving them guys speechless, they be practising respiration
Rap nowadays is under par, its flying low like tiger woods when caught out fucking that blonde ho
But rap aint flying far, what them red arrows do man that shit is bizzare
Being mistaken for pop which never changes and stays the same, whichever way you choose to write its name
These modern money chasing rappers are taking the game, making it easy for any guy who can speak to make it to the top regardless if their lame
Their using hip hop as a stepping stone to take them to fame
What type of shit is that boy can you explain?
Their using hip hop and brining it to shame, man this music that we once loved is falling to the gutter and down the drain
Im sure if your real you can feel my pain, hip hop aint sweet no more no candy cane
Tryna tame the bull but the bull is full of shit
Cant see the colurs cause the colours are dimly lit
I aint colour blind cause I can see when a persons heart turns black
Cause you only say things when people dont hear you your spineless so you just stab people in the back
My father told me stay on track cause if you try and shift youll be heading for the country roads
But I told him its a picturesque view that smile like mona lisa still cant crack that da vinci code
People often say that only seeing is believing but think again you believe in God right but you aint seeing him
Cause if you have faith that faith wont let you break, im holding you in my arms son but you aint breathing man imma consolidate
You Keep your eyes wide open boy you gotta stay awake
You have two angels on your shoulders guarding you from the evil that will soon approach you
Gonna try and take your soul but the angels will hold you and fend the dark away so your soul will come off the market
Forget about the past, look ahead sweep that bad under your bed or carpet
That sold sticker will soon dissapear
Man your life is changing like the seasons, so hold on boy you aint got nothing to fear